


the wrong side of heaven

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 1944, Angst and Feels, Captain America: The First Avenger, Delayed military mail, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, Implied Relationships, Letters, M/M, Subtext due to military censorship in the 1940's, Winifred writes to her boys, i'm a monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:50:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: Sender c/o: Barnes, WinifredRecipient(s): Barnes, Sgt James B. Rogers, Cpt Steven G.Post Marked: 12/06/1943, Brooklyn NYPackage Recieved: 03/02/1944Mail Batch #: 23051Inspection: ApprovedNote:RETURN TO SENDER (RECIPIENTS DECEASED, M.I.A.)Dearest Steven and James,We're going to get that white Christmas at last.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tell all your friends  
> tell them I'm never coming back  
> this is the end  
> pretend that you want it  
> don't react

 

 

 **Sender c/o** : Barnes, Winifred 

 **Recipient(s)** : Barnes, Sgt James B. Rogers, Cpt Steven G. 

 **Post Marked** : 12/06/1943, Brooklyn NY

 **Package Recieved** : 03/02/1944

 **Mail Batch #** : 23051

 **Inspection** :Approved  

**Note:**

**RETURN TO SENDER (RECIPIENTS DECEASED, M.I.A.)**

 

 

Dearest Steven and James,

  We're going to get that white Christmas at last. Rebecca keeps pressing her nose to the glass and if she keeps it up I'm afraid she'll fall ill. I've told her this many times but she's stubborn like her brother and she won't listen. We're picking out a tree next week and I'd dearly like to have something from the two of you to hang on it. Please send me something, anything as soon as you can. I understand that time is an issue and it could be a month or so before you even get this letter. If so I'll hang it on the wall. 

 

Mrs. Meeser sends her love. She recieved a letter last week, seems her eldest son has passed. He was stationed in Stalingrad and the notice took three weeks to arrive. Poor dear has been inconsolible. I've invited her to have dinner with us at 6 o'clock tomorrow night. I'm making Sarah's spice cake for dessert. (I'd include a slice but I fear it would go bad before it reaches you)

It pains me to think of her all alone in that dreary apartment and I can't imagine. Lord don't ever let that be me. Please keep yourselves safe over there boys, for me. Protect one another. You've always been good at that and I hate to think of what would become of either of you should you lose the other. 

 

...I sat down to write you a letter and here I am damping it with tears and sending nothing but bad news. I apologize. Tell me, how are you getting along there? Is Steve keeping warm? I've sent two pair of socks and a pair of mittens; more next week. 

 

Are they feeding you? Mr. Robertson says his boy is living off cigarettes, tinned meat and weak coffee. I imagine there's more to it than that - a more meager food ration likely - but he said his son didn't elaborate further. Bucky, share your rations. 

 

I am also enclosing a pack of candy canes - they're courtesy of Ms. Ella Figara. You remember her, of course, she lives around the corner. She's a darling girl and speaks highly of you, Bucky. She would've made a lovely wife...but I understand. Nothing will ever make me love you less, I mean this. These things can't be helped. 

 

I digress.

 

We're hopeful that the war should end soon and you'll be in my arms again. Until then I'll be missing you. Every time the radio announces another name, my heart nearly gives out on me. I couldn't bare to hear _Barnes_ or _Rogers_ in that tone that says ' _Sorry for your loss, here's the evening news_ '. They speak of it as if it's not Earth shattering - we've grown accustomed to loss I suppose. 

But I just can't do it. 

 

Reluctantly, I must go now; it's getting late. I am attaching a letter from Rebecca at her insistence. 

 

             I love you boys. Come back when you can. 

                               W.B. 

 

+

 

Steve, Bucky, 

 It's me Becca.

I bought a box of Crackerjacks last week and there wasn't a single toy inside. I got so mad I stomped right back to the store and made Mr. Johnson give me a new box. And wouldn't you know it, he didn't charge a thing on account of me being angry. Ma says I get that from you Buck but she says I swing like Steve. 

Henry from school says you ain't coming back so I hit him for it last week. Made his mouth bleed and gave him a good shiner for his trouble. It cost me a talking to and two days of no playing outside but it was worth it. He's a dirty rotten liar. I told him he'd have to eat dirt when you and Steve get back. 

Ma says Steve is big as a house but I can't believe that. He's always been scrawny, ma said she could count his bones through his shirt. Now she she says they gave him a special drink that made him grow and if I eat my beans I'll get taller too. But I ate a bowl last night and haven't grown an inch. It's a fib and I don't think Steve could grow that much cause of beans - write me back and tell her so. 

PS I drew a picture for him. Before he left he said I needed to work on my lines or something so I drew the two of you sharing a custard. Bet you miss those don't you? Ma says we're all gonna go to Coney Island when the war ends and we're going to eat a bunch of sticky candy. I sure am looking forward to that. And If I'm real good, she said she'll buy me a hotdog. Not with onions though, they're gross. 

I miss you, miss you, miss you. Give Steve a hug for me but don't squeeze him too tight even if he's bigger.

    

                                                                   All my love,

                                                                             Becca xoxoxo

 

**INVENTORY OF PACKAGE:**

postal letter (2)

socks (2)

mittens (1 pair)

holiday ornament (1)

cigarettes (2 pkg)

box of matches (1) 

gum (1 pkg)

photograph (2) 

pencil (3)

writing paper (2pk)

assorted hard candy (1pkg)

candy canes (1pkg) 

roll of postal stamps (1)

american currency ($7.50)

scarf (2)

post card - Brooklyn, NY (1) 

 

* * *

 

**04/02/1944**

 

Agent Peggy Carter drapes herself over the re-sealed box and begins to sob hard enough that it causes her entire body to tremble.

"Steve," she whispers. The weight of grief is a heavy burden to bare and she can hardly carry it.

Nearby, Colonel Phillips hangs his head. The world lost two good men when death decided to pluck Sgt. Barnes from the Earth.

And somehow he always knew the loss of Barnes would end in a shroud of grief that Rogers couldn't fight his way out of. 

It would always end like this: two shadows together in death - two tired soldiers no more for this world. 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry, i really am. the title is from "wrong side of heaven" by five finger death punch. it's a song for the military and soldiers. it never fails to make me cry and combined with the video...aahhh. the lyrics are from "losing your memory" by ryanstar and it breaks me every time. 
> 
> (i have a cold so i'm blaming that for this piece of sad garbage)


End file.
